Hello, to anyone who might be reading this post! I am a newbie and have never posted before. and I would love anyone's opinion as to what it is that is happening to me, and will take any suggestions I can get, because all I know about the unknown, is that I think a part of it has been with me for the past 10 yrs. Bear with me!
When I was 12 years old, I was the only witness to my best friend's murder. The man who had just killed her, tortured me for what was probably only about an hour, but seemed like forever, and then said if I told anyone, he would kill my family, make me watch, and then kill me. Me being 12, and never subject to any violence in my life prior to that night, believed every word he told me! Then he left me there in the middle of the woods at least 7 miles from where I was supposed to be, where my mom and dad thought I was staying the night at a different friend's house, but I just sat there crying begging why her and not me, and why didn't I do anything for her?!?!
About an hour later, I looked up to see, to my disbelief, my friend, covered in blood and pierced with the two bullets that I thought had killed her! I stood up and went to her saying, OMG I thought for sure that you were dead! I went to give her a hug, and my arms went right through her and she was gone! I chalked up to, my mind seeing what my heart so badly wanted to see! (Her, alive)
I started walking to my friend's house, but stopped at a gas station bathroom, and cleaned up as best I could, and pulled myself together, and thought up what to tell my mom to explain the puffy, watery eyes, and the dirt and grass stain on the back of my shirt. I decided it would be easy, I quite often have grass stains on my clothes, and I often called home in the middle of the night or early morning, with some stupid excuse as to why I wanted to come home, when all it was, was that I couldn't sleep anywhere but home, I even had trouble at my own grandma's house. So I figured my mom would probably be expecting my call. (though I know she would never say that to my face) And as for the teary eyes, I would just tell her that we had a fight and that was why I wanted her to come get me!
I stopped at the nearest payphone to my friends house and called my mom to come, walked the rest of the way to the house and made sure I was laying in the grass right above the sidewalk, in order to explain the grass stain. I got in the car, and she asked me what happened, and I laid it on her just as I had rehearsed since the gas station, and it worked! She said Okay, well are you alright? I said I was fine and I just wanted to take a shower, and go to sleep, and I pretended to go to sleep, to avoid any further conversation, and it worked, but I certainly wasn't kidding myself, I wouldn't be sleeping any time soon!
As the years pass, my friend still comes to me, sometimes covered in blood, and bullet wounds, saying, Why didn't you help me, I was your best friend and you just stood there?! I hate you, etc.. And sometimes she comes bullet, and blood free, not saying anything, just smiling at me and bringing an eerie calm with her and taking it back when she leaves.
Years after it happened, I, for some reason spilled my guts to my aunt, who told the cops, my parents, my family and others as well! Everyone obviously thought I was crazy, because they put me in a mental hospital, and loaded me up on antipsychotics, and did all sorts of tests. After I stopped talking about it, and told the doc that I hadn't seen her in days, he let me go, but kept me on ALL the meds. I still see her though after over 3 years, only now it's through an over medicated haze, and I had convinced myself that maybe I WAS just "crazy" Only after reading some of these posts, I am not sure anymore!?!?
So what do you think, hallucination, or gohst?