Sorry I have not been around things are just so bad here and continue to only worsen the more life dishes out which has not been good at all the more energy this thing is getting from me and the more evil it is becoming.It is getting so bad I hardly even wish to talk or write about it any more. It's just loving all the bad that is happening in my life and taking so full of advantage of it. I made the hardest decision in my life Tuesday and that was to lay my 14 1/2 year old dog Maggie down, many of you know how much I love her and how I have tried to keep her healthy with her diabetes's, the more I tried the more money I spent, there was just no way to get her glucose up to normal after months of trying , then she gave up wanting to eat dog food, it didn't matter what sort of food I bought for her and believe me we tried it all, she would eat people food but it was not good for her. I guess this was her way of telling me mommy it is time to let go of me and let me be with god.I decided this last Monday night, we took a video of me holding her and singing the Rose to her, my very last video of my baby girl alive :( . Tuesday morning when she going for her regular routine tests I asked to speak to a vet before her testing, they knew I had made my decision. Long story short Daren was with me, I was crying so bad and just holding her wrapped in a sheet she loved, I rocked her before they gave the sedative, rubbed her belly and kissed her over and over, I told her she was going to be with god now and I know this is her wish. Daren started to cry he tried so hard holding it back and he just couldn't, he spent almost 8 years with her. When she was given the sedative she became so relaxed and looked so comfortable, I kissed her again and she looked at me with a kiss on my chin, then she closed her eye's and started to do her little so cute snore, the vet came in and asked me if I was ready, I said yes he gave her the shot and in less than 5 seconds she was in gods hands, I was allowed to continue to hold as she drifted to heaven, I held her cried and just continued to rock her until I couldn't do it any longer. She has been cremated and I requested a special cremation in which there are no other ashes from any other animals and I only get her ashes. We have bought an Urn for her which will say her name Maggie and below it RIP love always mommy and below her date of birth and death, I'll be picking her up Tuesday. Life is so not the same but I remember all of the wonderful day's she and I had and I can laugh, every day was a new wonderful special day with her and we had always been so inseparable from day 1. Maggie had a wonderful life and love's me still in heaven for the life I gave her.I am still not fully able to come to terms with it and I hurt badly, not for Maggie because she in no longer battling but because I see her stuff and I just wish I could start all over from day again with her and have another special 14 1/2 year's with her.
The evil in the house loves my mental pain of my loss, and since then things just keep getting worse, seems to be in set's of 3's. Friday night Saturday morning being the worst. Amanda and some friends were in a car accident, no one was hurt thankfully but Amanda did have to go to the hospital because even though she had and everyone was wearing their seat belts their necks got a bit of whip lash and Amanda's head and ears hurt her very badly.
Well with everything that has happened Friday night it came out full force. My cousin is here from California with her son, her oldest son lives in Maine with his dad and 18 years old. We wanted to have fun and have a little party like we did two years ago when I last saw her. Some of the minors were sneaking drinks and Daren's daughter's B/F smokes pot for his glaucoma and not sure but think he may have been sharing it with others. The only two who did not drink anything was Daren and Amanda. There was a knock on the upstairs door, we freaked out because Amanda has been seeing the guy I did not like a while back however he went into the army, he is now beyond awall but desertion and facing big trouble, I am so scared of him being at my home and scared of her being with him as she will be 18 this Saturday Aug 11th. Who knows what could happen to any of us due to him letting down his country and he is basically a fugitive. We thought they were coming from the smell of either we got too loud or they wanted to see if he was here. we was all down in the basement playing pool and singing Karaoke and just having fun, then there was a knock on the door but it was not a knuckle knock, it was ,ore like a knock with the side of the hand sort of a pounding knock. Daren was the only one to come up to answer the door, no one was there. Everyone here all heard things. such as the knocking only Daren, Jofi and my self heard it, then latter another set of 3 people would hear things when we heard nothing. Everyone stayed the night other than Amanda and Jen as they got into an argument and I didn't want her here due to what had happened to her previously. This continued through out the night, we was all up until about 3 or 3:30AM those who stayed in the basement I believe Ashley, Travis and my cousins oldest son, Ashley and Travis slept on a blow up mattress they could not get to sleep and watched the sun come up, Ashley could her a little girl crying saying help me please and it was above her on the main floor, it wouldn't stop, finally Ashley started to doze off and then she awoke to Travis waking her up accidentally, the blanket was being pulled off him and she thought he was pulling them off her. He has tried to debunk it as a cat was doing it, how an any cat pull the blanket's off anyone, possibly move them a little but not pull them from the feet down. When Amanda arrived back home the next morning at 9:00AM she went to bed as her head was still hurting her, she was awoken by feeling like something or someone was laying on top of her holding her down, she could not move, she could not speak. when it stopped Amanda laid in bed trying to realize just what happen, she was traumatized and as she laid there thinking and in shock it did it to her again and she was fully awake. She stated to me that it had happened to her one other time months ago but it did it to her two times that morning with in a matter of minutes.
There has been so much more, I am trying to get everyone who has any experiences in our home to write it down as I need this information to give to the team who will be coming, I deeply feel in my heart we need a deamonologist to rid this forever, it's bad and my mind can not take it and it knows, I can not think clearly I feel like i am just here trying to accomplish things, trying to think logical and I can not, I just move not able to focus on just one thing. I don't want Amanda here right now she is too scared I have allowed her to stay with her guy only because at that hour it happened she had to get out of here as fast as I could get here out, so she has stayed with him for the past two night's for her protection. I can not let her stay there tonight I an too scared they ( The Army ) will be coming for him soon and I don't want her with him when it happens. I told her it was an emergency that allowed her to stay but she needs to find another place to stay now if not at home and my mom and dad have a spare bedroom she can sleep in but she refuse's. Amanda is mentally going through hell with her boyfriend, his attitude threatening her if she leaves him he'll kill him self, he is making her life so hard, the loss of Maggie, the accident really traumatized her, the pain in her head and the haunting here. Mentally I was too weak to say no to her then I just knew it was more safe for her with him than it was at home. So much more has happened I just don't remember it all, I feel like a walking zombie, I wish I had my baby Maggie back, I want this evil gone, I want life normal again and until Pen State comes I feel strongly more is going to happen and each time it will be worse. If someone could see my eye's they could see just how lost I am words can not explain how I am right now and how I have been since this tried taking over Jen.
I have to thank everyone for all the poems you wrote and all the love you have shown me even though I knew I could get it here I forgot where I posted this and stupid me posted it here again, I'm so sorry guess my mind has been in the gutter since Maggie was laid to RIP. I'm sorry but I'm crying, I thought it would get easier but it's not, my poor dog Rocky has been so depressed and it is making it that much harder because when I look into his eye's they are so sad and dogs could cry tears he'd be crying with me. I try every day to make him happy, to get his mind of it and when I can it only last a few minutes and then it's like he remembers again. I did not go away last weekend for the last biker event because most ride their motorcycles and we planned to ride ours as we only have a tent until next year. Rocky would lose his mind if I left him for 3 day's and two night's, he can't even handle me leaving him for a few minutes. I take him in the truck and he is not the same, his game with Maggie was he was going to get the front first, now he will not even get in the front even if I put him there he gets into the back. I have tried taking him for walks something new for him, so far he seems to like it because it's something I could not do with him and Maggie as Maggie was too old to walk to far. I bought him a new squeaky toy tonight, a new one that had no smell of Maggie, he did not want it. The vet's said to give him stuff that smells like Maggie, all the toys smell of Maggie and it has made no effect other than he seems more depressed. The first week in September I am going to take him to the vet's for his depression if he dose not seem to be any better.
I wish I knew how to post my picture's, I can not think straight but I did upload some and now can not post them......duh. I do have a site called Drop Shot's, if anyone wishes check it out and you can view how I have Maggie's bed set up, also view some of my photos, many have been seen by GP members that have been here for sometime and listen to some of my EVP's, they are not fixed by a pro yet but even though if you listen to them more than once you will hear a males voice, Also the one that shows my recorder speaker listen careful towards the end you will hear the "BEWARE" on the top two that I video taped the 2nd one was when I did the cleansing here and did not know never do a cleansing with your EVP recorder, listen careful it says "Help Me" and more I think but i can not make it out. I do have a pro fixing my evp's but his computer is currently down and has not been able to fix them as of yet. Anyway here is my link: http://www.dropshots.com/Sheryl65
As to my house and the hauntings, I am loosing my mind and I am starting to fall to pieces, right now it feels like god is pulling on my hands and the devil on my ankles. I am a strong person but since Maggie it feels as if everything is going wrong, Daren and I argue almost every day and it seems it started when the hauntings started and it seems like it continues to get worse. Our argument's are not an all day argument but stupid argument's and so stupid it is really starting to drive me crazy. Amanda just turned 18, my baby girl and I am sitting back watching her life possibly get destroyed in her relationship and I fear for her so bad. and to top it all off everyone wants me doing things for them that i did say I would do but everyone wants it all done now. The trailer i lived in before I moved into our new home is in my parent's name, a friend of mine and her husband planned to buy it because owner's of the trailer park will not allow an owner of any trailer to be rented on their lot. Everything was in the making but it did not happen and they had to be evicted, hubby is in jail and she had no one to help her move so who had to help??? Me so it ended up just the two of us girls moving it all out, I had to help for my friend and for my mom so she could fix up what hubby destroyed. Now I have to go in and re-wall paper what the tore down or painted over and before I had moved out I had wall papered almost the whole trailer. I tell my mom take them to court but she refuses. The stronger I try to become some how some way some one finds a way to bring me right back down to only find my self fighting to get back up again, then I get knocked back down.
I do feel mentally I am loosing my mind I cant take it any more, sometimes I wish I was dead ( no worry I'd never take my own life ). Please tell me is it this evil entity in our home that is making my life so darn hard, is it trying to drive me insane? I am at the point I don't care if the paranormal team that comes has it filmed on the A&E channel any more, I don't want to wait for that to be discussed or to wait for the A&E channel to get ready to be here, I just don't care what i care about is riding this evil thing once and for all, it is really scaring me bad here and since Maggie's passing 3 night's last week it was in our bedroom, the presence was so strong and each night it grew stronger until I was given a strong prayer, once i said it it left our room and took a ride with Daren to work. I was so scared those 3 night's that it was going to take my body over and I had 3 very sleepless night's. I don't know It's so bad I am beginning to even hate talking about it. :(
Thank both of you so much you said basically what I felt deep inside, this thing is causing all these problems to be so much more worse and I know we need to get out of here. Everyone that come's here starts feeling tired too, drained of energy and then getting them to get up and motovaited is much harder for them. I know we all need to get out and stay some where for a few day's, I am sure Jofie can find somewhere to stay he is the one who I gave a home to. Amanda can stay a few more day's with her boyfriend as much as I hate it and Daren and I have to find somewhere to stay a few night's but I don't know where. My mom freaked out on us because My dad and I bought this house together and the Taxe's came due $1,000.00 she freaked thinking we had to pay it in full this month or there would be a lien on the house, that is not true we had 6 months to make payments but to keep mom happy we paid her in full so needless to say were broke now. Actually I do know right where we can stay the trailer I lived in before moving here, it is empty and still has the power on as well as cable and we all have cell phone's so we do not need a regular phone. If we stay there I can do the work that I have to do in my spare time and Jofie and Amanda can stay there too Daren adn I can sleep on the queen air mattress and I can bring the two twin mattresses Jofie can use one and Amanda can use one, I just get paper plates, cups and silverware.
I always believe in saying " good night I love you" to everyone in my home and this may sound strange but I have been saying it to god, Jesus and my guides every night after I say my prayer. I vowed that today would be a good day nomatter what and i would make a list of everything that is wrong or needs attention first and priortize them and only going by my list and not by what people expect of me. I still plan to do it but i also swore I would wake up and make myself feel good somehow, now i need to find out how because i feel just as bad as I did yesterday only a bit more depressed, I could sleep this whole day away i'm so tired and I slept in until 9:35AM.
I think what I need to do it call the guy from the paranormal team as I see they are still requesting more haunted home's for the A&E channel and find out what is up because I had a team that would come however they ask for donations towards their gas etc. and I have always been told since we had that team at Alicia's that if they request any money for anything then they are no good. I was desperate and contacted them, at the time any investigator here would make me feel better. However the guy from Pen State said they just might stir things up more and if I could wait for them it would be best. My last e-mail from them was they were planning the trip now but not sure when they will be arriving. I have his number so I'm going to call him.
Is it possible that what ever I am living with is making me so depressed? could it be making Rocky so depressed too?. What if it follows us to the trailer? or where ever we decided to go?. Many of you know I suffer badly from Anxiety, I started having anxiety attacks over 10 years ago due to a very stressful job, a job that I watched many get taken out on a stretcher due to anxiety. When I had my very first attack it was very bad, I was home relaxing with my girls watching a movie on TV in the evening, I had no stress, It was a very comfortable night. My mom came and rushed me to the ER, I couldn't even get out of the car and refused to go in until the doctor was 100% ready to see me. I was given anxiety meds which helped me out so much and those med's I have been on over 10 years and the last 5 years I had to take 1mg 2X a day and my body became tolerant to the dose so my family doc increased my meds to 1mg 3 X a day. Due to my anxiety I had been told to get my meds I had to see a physritrist in order to continue to receiving them so I saw a woman doc for about 5 years, she retired and I had to wait 3 months for this new doc to come so my family doc prescribed me my meds, the one how said I had to have 1mg 3 X's a day. When the new shrink came in he took over my meds and changed my anxiety meds with out even telling me which made me very sick, I told him so after a long rather frustrating talk letting him know he has never even met me, he knows only what is in my records but on a personal level he know's nothing about who I am and I did not appreciate his changing my meds with out meeting me, so he gave me something different, it worked for my anxiety but not for my stomach, I felt so sick from them and I felt so mean, I would flip over anything and as time went on I started feeling evil, this was all in a month period. I refused to see this shrink as I did not like him and did not even have to meet him to know I did not like him so I called and said I did not need him and I did not like him therefore I would not be returning back if he had to be my doc. I called my family doctor and then had an appointment, the one I had the day I got into my little road fight. My family doc put me back on what the only med's that worked for me but he cut me from the 3mgs he put me on down 1/2mg 2X's a day. So with all that is happening here the dose is not cutting it my anxiety is bad, very bad and my BP has been very high from all of thism the hauntings, Daren and my squabbles, my daughter destroying her life with a guy that is Awall from the army and more that 1/2 mg 2 X's a day is not working and I have had to take more than prescribed. So last month I had to call my doc for a 4 day early refill, he stated to me that he would give me an early refill this time and this time only, if I run out to soon again I had to suffer it would be my problem. What a nice doc hu? he know's the effects of not taking my meds if I go over 24 hours. I guess why I am stating this is why now? why is all this happening to me, I had to tell my doc to about the hauntings when I last saw him, I know he thinks I am crazy but I was mentally loosing my mind that day I mean I had just put my dog down, got into a fight, I guess I am lucky he did not admit me to the park unit, I did how ever invite him over for a visit, he laughed at me, LOL I'll invite him when the paranormal team show's up then see how hard he laughs, bet yah hell be running out the door with his tail between his legs.
Well I have written a novel here, guess I need ot make some arrangements but first call the guy about the investigation, if he can not be here this week I will have to find someone to come here before he they can get here.